Ugh, I feel crappy. Here’s what’s been going on leading up to this.
So in August 2006, John and I decided to start a family. I had a great pregnancy, no complications, but I ate way too much. My weight climbed from 175 to a shocking 273. As soon as I delivered our beautiful little boy, I dropped down to 244 but from then on I struggled. I was nursing, and could only do so much to help my weight without hurting my supply. I got down to 227 but eventually that climbed back up to 244 when I stopped nursing in January of 2008.
In January of 2008, my company started a Reduction Junction challenge. There were 20 of us, we each chipped in 20 bucks a month and prizes were given out each month over the next 6 months with a grand prize at the end. I found a place where I could get some prescription diet pills and off we went. I lost 34 pounds over the six months, ending at 210. Man, I felt better.
I started a new job, and my weight creeped back up to 215. I got it back down to 210 on my own when John and I decided to start a weight loss plan together. We embarked on the South Beach Diet and I dropped 8 pounds the first week. Over the next five weeks, I dropped another 8 pounds and got down to 194.4. What a relief to be below 200!! I came off the diet pills, immediately gained 4 pounds, and now I’m holding steady at 198.8.
You know, I’ve weighed a lot of different weights in my life. I was 175 in high school and got down to 145 when I graduated. I was 180 when I graduated college, and 185 a few years later when I decided I’d had enough. I got down to 145 again quickly, and maintained it for 3 years until John and I started dating and all of the eating out and drinking got me back to 175. Then of course the bizarre 273 that I weighed at the peak of it all.
I know how I am at each weight. I know I’m confident and more outgoing when I’m below 175. I know 165 is when my face starts to thin out. I know my frame was not meant to carry more than 225. And that 273 makes my knees ache. I also know that when I lose 10ish pounds quickly, I feel a shot of confidence that subsides after a few weeks of not losing anymore. I also know that at 145 I’ll catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and secretly think that I look really good. Like it’s not ok to think that outloud or something. 
So at 198, I’m a shadow of who I am at 145. Or even 165. I’ll say something funny and think how stupid my fat face looks saying it. Isn’t that a horrible thing to think? It’s always in the back of my mind though. I was looking at recent pictures of myself the other day. I look terrible in almost all of the candid shots. Pretty good in the posed ones. When I remember to suck in my stomach and angle my face down, I look alright. I remember when I was skinnier not seeing so many bad candids. When you don’t have a double chin, it never shows up in pictures. Whether they’re candid or not.
I’m embarking on a new weight loss push, I need to get another 30 pounds off of me. I weighed 160ish at my wedding and I was happy. 30 pounds doesn’t sound so bad. I remember when I weighed 273 thinking that even if I lost 100 pounds I still wouldn’t be close to my ultimate goal. 30 sounds a lot better than 100. So I’m commiting to walking 30 minutes every single day. I’m pulling our treadmill out into the living room. I’m going to stick to this south beach diet, because I honestly love it. And I’m going to update this long forgotten blog every single day.
Here’s some pics of the journey so far.
Me at my skinniest, 145.
Creeping back up to 175… Notice the chin-down pose.
My absolute heaviest on delivery day… (273)
Back down to 244…
222…
The weight I am today, at 198
Posted on November 13th, 2008 by Colleen
Filed under: From 198 Down... | Comments Off
Day 1 finished up well and day 2 is going well, also. I’m hungrier today but nothing a few hundred spoonfuls of peanut butter can’t fix. I think I lost a pound or so yesterday but I didnt’ weigh myself on my home scale Monday morning so I can’t really tell. I’ll know tomorrow (and for real next Monday) if I’m doing any good. I made it to curves again today and I think John and I are walking when I get home.
We had hamburger pie last night, one of my favorite meals in general and especially when I’m on a diet. Brown hamburger throw it in a baking dish, make mashed potatoes and throw them on top and broil until lightly brown. John threw some cheese and parsley in the potatoes so they were super good. I don’t know what we’re having tonite, I might have to run to the store.
I think I’m going to try this tonite…
Posted on January 8th, 2008 by Colleen
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So they’ve started a weight loss challenge at work. We all contribute 20 bucks and whoever loses the most weight gets 50% of the pot, the most inches gets 35% and whoever meets their goal gets 15%.
I’ve been really bad about going to the gym lately. Really, really, bad. Dash started going to bed at 7 and if I stop off at Curves I don’t get home until 5:15 which means I get to see him for an hour and 45 minutes a day and I hate that. So I haven’t been going. My lunch buddy has joined this challenge too though, so she’s not wanting to go out and eat, so I’m going to curves during lunch. So far it’s going ok. Of course it’s day 1.
I thought about giving up breastfeeding this weekend. I know that’s why i can’t lose any weight. Plus, I want to take things that aren’t good for breastfeeding, like diet pills 
I found a picture of myself from Christmas and I truly think it’s the only time in my life I have just been disgusted with myself. Embarrassed. Anyway, it made me think about it. I went home and acutally figured out how many bottles I could get out of one cannister of formula and it was pathetic. Like 14 or something, so that’s a cannister every 4 days or so. So breastfeeding it is.
Now the first month I went to curves, I slimmed down quite a bit even though I didn’t lose any weight. This time, I’m giving it everything I have and if it doesn’t come off then I’m going to a barriatric physician when I stop nursing. John’s on the wagon with me, so we’re eating healthy at home, and he’s getting on the treadmill with me for 30 minutes every night after Dash goes to sleep. It’s so pretty today though I think we may go for a walk instead. Dash got a new wagon for Christmas so we might work that thing out.
Posted on January 7th, 2008 by Colleen
Filed under: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Sorry about the graphic! I was tired of the old look so I set up this theme and I haven’t had a chance to modify it yet… Hopefully soon!
Posted on September 27th, 2007 by Colleen
Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
So, frustrated because I haven’t lost any weight over the last month, I went to curves last night expecting the monthly weigh in and measurments…
And the verdict is…..
I lost 8 inches! Yay! I actually gained a pound but I think that was because of what I ate earlier in the day… but the 8 inches was good news. 1.5 inches off my bust, 1 off my waist, 1.5 off my abdomen (yay c-section tummy!), and 2 inches off each thigh… a few others here and there but those were the big ones. So I’m going shopping on my lunch break today; my jeans have been baggy but I thought it was because of how much I’ve worn them. I’m going to go try the next size down!
Posted on September 27th, 2007 by Colleen
Filed under: Uncategorized, Post-Pregnancy First 10 | 6 Comments »
I’ve been the same weight for a good 6 weeks now; I was hoping Curves would jumpstart it again but no such luck. I’m going every single day this week and watching what I eat as usual, and if it doesn’t come off this week I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m wondering if it’s just going to hang on until I’m done breastfeeding. I hope not. I could handle 10 pounds, or even 20, but 40 is ridiculous.
Posted on September 10th, 2007 by Colleen
Filed under: Uncategorized, Post-Pregnancy First 10 | 1 Comment »
So I went to curves last night and LOVED it. I love that it’s only 30 minutes, and that it’s so fast-paced that it flies by, and that it’s all women. I seriously had a good time and I don’t think I’ve ever said that about a workout. I signed my life away for a year, so if I slack off please gently remind me to go.
They did a body analysis which was eye opening, I know my fat percentage is high but they they figured out exactly how many pounds were fat and I’m carrying around a Lindsay Lohan. They also figured how much was water, which was pretty cool.
I think I’ll be able to go at 6 AM Tuesday and Thursday (yikes, I know) and 8 AM Saturday without much problem. So I’m excited, at least for now, to be taking some kind of action against the bulge. And I ran into a girl I went to high school with so that was cool, too.
Let me see if I can find a goal pic and a current pic (yikes again… I used to be really cute, keep in mind…)
This is me in July of 2005 when John and I had only been dating for a few months. Look how cute I was! Sigh.
And here I am 4 weeks ago…
Such a pudge. I’m seriously close to 75 pounds away from that first picture, which seems way, way too overwhelming. So we’re shooting for 200 by Christmas, and 175 by my high school reunion the following summer, and I hope I way exceed that. I’d love to be 150, but we won’t go there.
Here’s the stats, if you want to drop your jaw in shock along with me, that’s fine
Weight 227 (and 226.5 this morning)
Body fat percentage: 46.1 (is that possible)
Which means 104 pounds of me is fat!! Could that all be in my boobs?
Posted on August 24th, 2007 by Colleen
Filed under: Post-Pregnancy First 10 | 7 Comments »
225.5
Not too bad considering John’s birthday was this week and we went out to eat for it and on Friday, too. Hopefully this week I can drop a few more, I’m eager to get in the 2-teens.
Posted on August 13th, 2007 by Colleen
Filed under: Friday Weigh-in | Comments Off
Yay! I”m officially not wearing maternity jeans. I have one pair that’s really comfortable but since I don’t have the belly to hold up the waistband they slip down way too much. I figured it out yesterday that I haven’t worn pants with a zipper for a good 8 months now. Probably longer. The only thing I have on today that is maternity at all is my nursing bra. Now mind you, these pants aren’t anywhere near my regular size, but it’s nice to have SOMETHING on that doesn’t just pull down.
Oh and I weighed today and it was 226.5 with a very full boob Maybe I can get to 224 by Friday.
Posted on August 7th, 2007 by Colleen
Filed under: Uncategorized, Post-Pregnancy First 10 | 2 Comments »
227.5
So yay for a pound. I got down to 227 yesterday morning though so I was hoping I was at 226.5 but I ate a piece of cake the size of Oh, I don’t know, a coaster maybe so I’m pretty sure that took care of that half pound.
I was standing at the microwave waiting for my popcorn to finish popping and realized how nice it was to be able to see my toes. I’m also wearing my wedding band today, which I wasn’t able to do from about 5 months pregnant on, so for a good 6 months now.
This weekend, I’m probably going to blow it all though. I’m meeting with Patrice for lunch today, and John and I are going to Birmingham tonite so he can go to a stupid work meeting, and then I’m meeting Liz in Florence tomorrow while I’m up there computer shopping. What are the chances every restaurant I go to will have something I can/want to eat? We’ll see. I’d really like to see 225 on the scale next week…
Posted on July 27th, 2007 by Colleen
Filed under: Uncategorized, Post-Pregnancy First 10, Friday Weigh-in | 1 Comment »